I won the lottery!

I wish I was talking about the big money lottery and I was here to tell you all that I am now the proud owner of more diamonds and fancy, over-priced items than a home should hold, but alas...no.

But the gift I was just honored with is better than diamonds or cash.


Wait for it.....


Both kids are potty trained! That's right, folks. I just hit the jackpot! No more diapers, no more wipes, no more diaper bag.

What does no more diaper bag mean? It means that I no longer am forced to carry around the contents of the nursery, times TWO, in an unflattering pattern. Oh, don't get me wrong! My diaper bags were super cute and stylish but no matter how stylish you try to get, it's still a diaper bag. Well no more! I now can carry a purse that carries all of my stuff. Sure, it's a satchel bag, and you may very well find a toy airplane or half eaten lollipop, but it's my bag.

And it was easy. I know, I don't mean to rub it in. But allow me to pass on my small bit of potty wisdom. Ready? IGNORE THEM. That's all. Caed even came to me one day and said, "Mommy, I want to potty train!"
I didn't believe him. I still ignored him. Until one day I was outraged at how much of a chunk diapers were taking out of my budget. I opted for a big bag of peanut M&Ms (the peanut is a protein and therefore the healthier option, right?) I promised Caed 1 M&M for a #1 and 2 for a #2. He had 5 M&Ms in 20 minutes, but sure enough in 1 day he was trained! Nights too. I'm telling you....better than diamonds!

I've also done away with sippy cups. That was Caed's fault actually. He would suck on the spout so hard and create a vacuum force you would swear a black hole was on the inside of the cup that twisting the lid off became impossible. So in sticking with my new mantra "If it creates more work for Mommy, it's wrong!" I threw all of them away. There was more separation anxiety than there was when I took their bottles away!
"But I want McQueen!" one would cry while the other said, "No big boy cups!" It was a darn near revolt as far as toddlers go! My dear, sweet husband even thought that they should be allowed to keep the sippy cups since they potty trained so easily. Ummmm....no. When he writhes on the kitchen floor trying to break the super suction 14 times a day, washes them and searches for them under couches, then he gets a vote.

Welcome to my home, sans diapers or cups with spouts!