Once Upon A Time

Recently the boys have taken advantage of the Jack & Jill bathroom they share, now that they are potty trained, to visit one another at various times throughout the night. They make very little noise, generally just playing dinosaurs or whispering in the darkness to Buzz Lightyear. You know, typical 3-year-old boy stuff. Generally I don't mind these late night shenanigans, at least til Leno is over. Plus it means that they sleep until 9:00am. I consider it a win-win.

So tonight was like any other night. I went in to tuck them in, again, and was blessed with a wonderful time. I decided to lay down in Daniel's red race car bed with the both of them and tell them a bedtime story, letting them fill in the blanks. It quickly became reminiscent of Mad Libs.

Me: Once Upon A Time there was a horse named _____

Alphabet!

And Alphabet had a brother named_____

Baby! And Alphabet found a tree frog and his Daddy did this (stomps on the bed) and tree frog died!! And then Baby hold his elephant and goes WOOO WOOO like this, and has spaghetti for breakfast.

Ummm...that has to be the best bedtime story I have ever heard. I laughed until I snorted, which only served to send them into a tailspin of laughter until our bellies hurt. It was amazing. And it was 11:30pm on a Wednesday night.

I'll remember it forever.

What is the moral of this story? Maybe we shouldn't always be annoyed, angry, frustrated, etc. - with what we think our kids should be doing, instead enter the situation with a tiny fragment of wonder - the kind of wonder with which they live their lives.

I won the lottery!

I wish I was talking about the big money lottery and I was here to tell you all that I am now the proud owner of more diamonds and fancy, over-priced items than a home should hold, but alas...no.

But the gift I was just honored with is better than diamonds or cash.


Wait for it.....


Both kids are potty trained! That's right, folks. I just hit the jackpot! No more diapers, no more wipes, no more diaper bag.

What does no more diaper bag mean? It means that I no longer am forced to carry around the contents of the nursery, times TWO, in an unflattering pattern. Oh, don't get me wrong! My diaper bags were super cute and stylish but no matter how stylish you try to get, it's still a diaper bag. Well no more! I now can carry a purse that carries all of my stuff. Sure, it's a satchel bag, and you may very well find a toy airplane or half eaten lollipop, but it's my bag.

And it was easy. I know, I don't mean to rub it in. But allow me to pass on my small bit of potty wisdom. Ready? IGNORE THEM. That's all. Caed even came to me one day and said, "Mommy, I want to potty train!"
I didn't believe him. I still ignored him. Until one day I was outraged at how much of a chunk diapers were taking out of my budget. I opted for a big bag of peanut M&Ms (the peanut is a protein and therefore the healthier option, right?) I promised Caed 1 M&M for a #1 and 2 for a #2. He had 5 M&Ms in 20 minutes, but sure enough in 1 day he was trained! Nights too. I'm telling you....better than diamonds!

I've also done away with sippy cups. That was Caed's fault actually. He would suck on the spout so hard and create a vacuum force you would swear a black hole was on the inside of the cup that twisting the lid off became impossible. So in sticking with my new mantra "If it creates more work for Mommy, it's wrong!" I threw all of them away. There was more separation anxiety than there was when I took their bottles away!
"But I want McQueen!" one would cry while the other said, "No big boy cups!" It was a darn near revolt as far as toddlers go! My dear, sweet husband even thought that they should be allowed to keep the sippy cups since they potty trained so easily. Ummmm....no. When he writhes on the kitchen floor trying to break the super suction 14 times a day, washes them and searches for them under couches, then he gets a vote.

Welcome to my home, sans diapers or cups with spouts!