Talk about a Hiatus!

My last blog was June 4, 2012!? Wow. So much has happened since then and I have missed this outlet and being able to share. As to an update on our daughter, Audrey, whom the last post was about.... Audrey recovered from her aspiration and many more details emerged in the months that followed. Audrey was left with severe Cerebral Palsy and other handicaps. It has come to light that she was actually without oxygen or under oxygenated for over an hour due to medical....well, I call it incompetence. (My blog, my thoughts, right?) Incompetence is a nice way to put it. The roller coaster ride has been exhausting. Sparing everyone the mind- boggling details of recurrent hospitalizations, Hospice and infection after infection, Audrey passed away April 19, 2013 in my arms. We are healing, and much of my future posts may refer to her and our family's journey and healing. So much has changed since the quads turned 1. We actually sleep now! Caed and Daniel are THE.BEST. big brothers ever. Seriously. Ever. My world would not function properly without their joy, love and help! Having so many younger siblings has really taught them so many lessons I'm not sure they would have otherwise grasped, or certainly grasped by the time they were 6 years old! But, they are the big life lessons; patience, understanding, compassion, service and celebrating the accomplishments of other just to name a few. I'm so proud of the little Godly men they are becoming. We have decided to home school this year. We home schooled the final few months that Audrey was with us, not knowing it was her final months and it was a stress nightmare. However, looking back I feel so blessed to have had that time for the boys to spend with Audrey. It really was a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I wouldn't have changed a thing. However, I learned the most. I learned about patience, not allowing others ' comments to become more than suggestions for my life and the importance of today. Just today. I have become such a different person over the last 2 years, and most of that fruit bearing in the last 6 months. I see the world so differently, with less optimism....and I'm actually grieving that optimism. For now, I have a million things to do to this blog to get it in proper order. Please bear with me over the next few weeks/months. Upcoming blogs I have planned will be worth it, I promise! Thank you all!